SunNovember 1, 2026

Early contender for halftime performer of the year in the NBA: The Amazing Christopher, whose four Village People-inspired marionettes dance in step with him thanks to an apparatus featuring polls and ventriloquist toggles. Unfortunately, he lost one of the Village People during his show tonight.

It ain’t over till it’s over. Austin Reaves got a bit too ahead of himself with the Lakers up big in the fourth quarter against the Raptors. Toronto’s reserves made a run to get back into the game and Reaves had to retrieve his headband – which he had given to a fan behind the bench – to return to the game.

The Lakers won by six, though that is highly misleading. Toronto was never really close in this game. Luka Doncic had the Raptors’ amped up defense on a string all game, dominating them to the tune of 41 points, 14 rebounds and 6 assists (though you can credit the Raps for forcing 7 turnovers). Keep an eye out for Matisse Thybulle, who is the latest adopted of the no-dip 3 and is hovering at 50 percent from deep to start the season. That kind of accuracy would be huge for a player whose defense has always pleaded with his offense to just be normal, man, so he can stay on the floor.

Lionel Messi scores the winning goal in the 83rd minute against the Revolution tonight, taking Inter Miami second in the Eastern Conference with one match remaining in the regular season. Does that matter? Not really. But look at that dribble from the 39-year-old. What a treat to still catch these glimpses. Messi’s sitting at 26 goals entering the season finale. FC Dallas’ Petar Musa is within sight at 22 goals, but if Messi starts against Charlotte, he should be able to secure the Golden Boot. If he does, he will be the first player in league history to win the award in back-to-back seasons (he scored 29 goals last campaign).

When was the last time an NFL team started 0-7 while having its purported franchise quarterback available in every game? Has it happened this millennium?

Of the 22 teams that started 0-7 or worse since 2000, only Derek Carr on the 2014 Oakland Raiders, DeShone Kizer on the 2017 Cleveland Browns and Jared Goff on the 2021 Detroit Lions started every game at quarterback. Most teams were beset by cursed diptychs or triptychs like Kerry Collins and Curtis Painter (2011 Colts) or Jon Kitna, Daunte Culpepper (!) and Dan Orlovsky (2008 Lions). Most franchise QBs on the list were fresh off the draft stage and entering a predictably terrible situation.

That Justin Herbert is enduring this miserable 0-7 start as the lone signal caller while also having several years of pretty good play under his belt is staggering.¹ I’m intrigued to see how much longer this can go on, if only because it keeps Madison Beer’s name in the conversation as the scapegoat.² Perhaps the Chargers will make it to 0-11 again? That’s how they started back in 2000. Ryan Leaf was their quarterback for the first three and a half games, but a wrist injury forced him out for the second half of Week 4. Who replaced him? None other than current Chargers’ coach Jim Harbaugh, who went on to lose five straight games as a starter.

1. This is where the NFL’s lack of a reliable qualifier like “All-Star” is irritating. In the NBA, that term connotes a player who is clearly a well above average contributor while stopping short of All-NBA or MVP consideration. “Pro Bowler” carries no such weight. ↩︎
2. Serious question: Would you accept professional humiliation and failure (but still a huge paycheck) in exchange for Mrs. Beer’s companionship? I would. ↩︎